The forced entry of insults into our minds is often the result of a desire for certainty. The tone and repetition of these tongue-lashings are more severe every time the speaker delivers them. 

When there is a split between what we respond to and what we ignore, a predetermined future is created. At any given time, the individuals who come into our lives have the option of reinforcing the hurtful words that we have heard throughout life by selectively paying attention to the loudest voices. 

When an attempt is made to introduce self-worth to people who have been conditioned to believe they are useless, the effort is ignored.

Despite claiming to want better for themselves, many individuals have emotional attachments to people who resemble those who have previously harmed them. 

This article will investigate why we are unresponsive to those who attempt to tell us something as compared to those who tell us only what we want to hear.

What We Have Seen Throughout Time

Maybe at one point we thought we could get away from our problems but decided to give up. It seems like no matter what we do, we keep coming back to the same place. The once-predicted bright future that was hoped for has turned into a downward spiral of hopelessness and familiarity. 

As soon as we try to solve one issue, another one appears. We don't know where it came from; we just know it's here. Something forced inside of our minds tells us to back away from the unfamiliar and stick with what we know, even if it's not the best option available. 

The speculation and rumors that surround our decisions are formed without prior knowledge of our backgrounds. The alleged toughness that we exhibit is just a façade, as we struggle to cope with the weight of our problems on a daily basis. 

When someone tries to save us from ourselves, we push them away because we are convinced that they have no idea what we're going through. Unlike others who turned a blind eye to our self-destructive behavior, they made a judgment call based on their concern. 

Who else would have come is unknown, but their attempt to reach out was a reminder that there is still good in the world. 

More Convenient to Say...

The ready-to-use convenience of popular topics is often appealing because everyone is saying the same thing but with their own spin. It's like following a script and not having to worry about the awkward silence shortly thereafter. 

The less popular conversation about what we've heard about ourselves throughout our lives is likely to be met with suspicion. Somehow, a good heart is often mistaken for an ulterior motive. 

Empty hearts, on the other hand, are met with welcoming hands until it's too late. No boundaries can be crossed at the beginning of this union because they do not exist. Users can; therefore, they should. 

After the damage has been done, someone must be held accountable, and that someone is usually the person who has our best interests at heart. 

They are grouped in with the rest of the perpetrators, despite the fact that they've never intentionally tried to hurt us. 

Bad Role Models That Give Bad Advice

There comes a point in time when we'll take any path as long as it leads somewhere. The limitations of this mindset become apparent when we find ourselves following negative role models. When we follow bad examples, the teacher becomes the one who misleads us rather than educates us. 

Their path is not a way to success but rather a bridge for us to walk in their footsteps of destruction and failure. Our imitations of their actions aren't original, but how we are able to outdo their wrongdoings is what truly distinguishes us from them. 

Poor role models could be in our lives by default or by circumstance. Regardless of who they are, people are unable to see that their negative characteristics are not something to strive for but rather something to avoid. 

This is the mission statement for those who choose to lead by example and be positive role models for others. They can see the dead end that is being offered as a shortcut to a life of happiness. 

While there are no guarantees in life, one thing is certain: better choices result in better outcomes, according to the law of cause and effect. 

 In-Between Tough Decisions

The public appearance of searching for a different way of life may not reflect the private struggle to resist the pull of who we once were. The identity we recently abandoned merges with the person we say we want to become, making it difficult to fully commit to our new path. 

We know we can't go back in time, but it was nice to be able to hide behind ignorance. Our glory days of being carefree and reckless are now replaced with the responsibility of knowing better. 

Almost immediately after this reality, our relationship with friends who had a similarly unfortunate upbringing is put to the test. Jealousy may arise as they see us making progress and leaving behind the vices that once bonded us together. 

This could explain why so few people are eager to start, let alone finish, the journey to redemption. The struggle to stay on the right path becomes even more complicated when we feel inclined to play up the antics of their past in order to fit in with their old crowd. 

Hearing that we still have it can boost your ego, but once the applause dies down, we're left alone with our conscience. 

The Good In People

Not everyone has the same definition of what constitutes a "good person." For some, it may not be breaking the law, while for others, it may not be causing harm to others. 

However this is defined, a good person's occasional mistakes can define their character, while a bad person's occasional good deeds can be interpreted as them being a hero. It's possible that they're repairing the damage they caused when they were only concerned with themselves. 

It's easy to forget that good people tried to keep these things from happening in the first place. But when they do happen, the weight of responsibility falls heavily on their shoulders. 

Good people can often struggle with guilt and self-blame, constantly questioning if they could have done more to prevent the situation. It can be a heavy burden to bear when nobody is watching. Ethics dictates that good people should never leave those in need, even if doing so leads them to a breaking point. 

It's important to acknowledge that everyone has their limits. However, this does not mean that acts of kindness are always unnoticed and forgotten by those who receive them. Recognition may not come instantly, but it may come later in unexpected ways. 

Conclusion

The forced entry of insults into our minds is more invasive than inviting. When this is all that is heard throughout life, it can be easy to lose sight of our worth. 

When the opposite of what we've seen and heard is shown to us, the wall we have built denies access, but a small seed of hope is planted. The voice of compassion may not be as loud as the voice of criticism, but what it has to say to us can be life-changing. 

When we are encouraged to look at what we respond to and what we ignore, we can begin to make conscious choices about what we allow into our minds and hearts. 

We can choose to see that there is more to life than our early insult-related injuries. The recovery process may be slow, but it is possible. Even if we aren't aware of it until someone points it out to us, we have the ability to change the way we think and feel about ourselves. 

Once we've made the necessary psychological adjustments, we can identify ourselves in others and understand how to break down the insults that they've heard throughout their lives. 

Disclaimer: This post was created for the purpose of general information. It is not intended to be considered professional advice.